You Sell Like A Second Grader

Cracking the Bat

I don't know much about baseball. But I do know that it is an incredibly intricate, complicated and tough sport. Watching my 9-year old son, Wyatt try to get his first hit in live pitch baseball really drove it home. And getting a hit is a lot like getting a sale. 

Baseball legend Ted Williams said it best: "Hitting a baseball -- I've said it a thousand times -- is the single most difficult thing to do in sport."  The reasons are numerous-speed and angle of the pitch, mechanics of the swing, the thoughts rolling around in your head and the fact that its impossible for a person to see the ball once it gets close to the plate. 

Poor Wyatt, he is learning this first hand. "I just can't get a hit," he says. At first he figured it was a lost cause. But with a little encouragement he started practicing. "Getting at his bat." He started to learn that hitting a ball with a bat is one of those things that isn't as simple as it seems. After a week or two of encouragement, he finally started asking me when we were going to practice -- a great sign.

Sales is a lot like hitting a ball. Seems pretty simple. But, oh the variables of a deal. Selling is the toughest thing to do in business, otherwise people would be lined up to do it. Add to that the fact that when you get close to ink, its hard to tell what is really going on behind the scenes and you can see why most people don't have the stomach for sales. You just have to make your best educated guess-like where to position the bat to hit a ball you can't see all the way to the plate.

The variables can be endless can't they? In having the pleasure of leading a sales team for a while, I have seen lots of rookies step up to the plate. I have also seen lots of slumps. The new kids who make it take a workman like approach.  They actively seek information and aren't afraid to get up to the plate and swing away until they get it right. Those are the people a sales leader wants to coach. Put in the effort, and little things will happen, until you finally get a single, a double, a home run.

The salespeople who don't make it were those who make excuses and used their lack of early success as a reason to be afraid of the ball. Truth is no matter how hard they were coached it wasn't going to help unless they were bought in. It wasn't going to help unless they tried harder than the coach and the other members of the team.

If you are new to the game of sales do everything you can to learn and keep swinging. And if you are in a slump sit down with your coach to analyze bad habits you may have fallen into or adjust your swing just like they do in the big leagues.

Last week, Wyatt finally got two singles and actually scored a run. He keeps swinging and I know the home run will come. 

Stay calm, stay calm, on second thought panic!

The panic button sits on my desk. And its a fantastic reminder that in sales staying calm is the way to go, even if you want to panic! This is especially true when you are waiting for a contract. 

 

Hoops and Yo Yo (the characters on the button) sum up the emotional roller coaster salespeople go through. "Shit! What is going to happen! I'm freaking out!" We let our emotions get to us just like second graders. It's time to stop the madness people! 

There are lots of sales discussions on LinkedIn. One sales person asked, "How do I pick myself up after a big sales disappointment?" There was lots of advice but the simple answer is: don't get excited in the first place. Be realistic. Don't let hope cloud your vision. Be a pro.  

Easier said than done. Especially when you consider that panic or irrational fear or behavior is hard-wired in our psyche. What's also true about panic is that its contagious. And that can bring the whole team down. You start freaking out and chances are others are going to freak out too. The good news? You can train yourself to control your emotions.

Guess what? You have lots of practice. Remember fire drills or disaster drills in second grade? Yep, they were training you to control your emotions, especially when your mind is getting all primal and deciding to "fight or flight" when in many cases neither is the best option.

Every now and then you lined up, calm and in an orderly manner with your buddy and walked out to your pre-rehearsed spot. This taught you to stay calm, stay calm and not panic! Becuase when you panic, bad things happen! 

This couldn't be more true in sales. What happens when you start freaking out about sales numbers, or letting your imagination get the best of you in a contract negotiation? You may do something stupid. Like bug the heck out of a prospect instead of trusting them to do what they said and building the bond that gets a sale.

Or freaking out could make you worry so much that you don't do other vital aspects of your job, like prospect and create smart proposals and communications. Or worse yet, cause you to say or email something you may regret! And you know what makes it worse? Stupid bosses who only ask "when is x contract coming in" rather than helping you in a useful way -- like reiterating their faith in you and your skill.

So how do you control your emotions and stay calm under all circumstances? You will find out in my next post.  But for now, print these words and post them in your office: "Its never as good or as bad as it seems."

 

If you love somebody set them free

Working on a deal? Just who do you trust? Please say your prospect. Because if you don't, you may lose the deal. And you know what they say:if you love somebody set them free. 

The American author Richard Bach, coined the term first. And Sting really went gonzo when he wrote "If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free" - check it out live below!  But hey, this is about sales, isn't it?  YES! As you listen to this song, you should be thinking about people you love -- your prospects! 

 

Sometimes we hate them, but we really love them when they buy, don't we?  I just want to give them a big hug when they pick us, and you know what, I do!  But before they buy, you should set them free.

We are talking decision time, baby. You know, that period when you have presented a great solution and your prospect is trying to get an internal yes or convince themselves to really go for it? You know, that time when your oh so useful boss is offering nuggets of wisdom like "did you get that deal yet?"  

Aside the urge to tell your boss to "shut the f up," which they should if all they can offer is additional bullshit pressure, you should be telling yourself to "shut the f up" too!  Leave your damn prospect alone during this time of quiet reflection when they are deciding if they should really bestow cash upon you.  And most prospects know you are getting personal cash from your decision.

At this critical time in the sales process resist the example from your crappy boss. Your prospects critical decision making period is the time where they may be looking for the one little reason to say no. You being a pain in their ass can certainly be that reason. 

It all comes down to trust and love, Champ.  You must show your prospect you trust them by taking them at their word when they say they will do something. "Checking in" which I wrote about in a previous post, simply won't do.  In fact, its a lot like nagging. When someone nags you, what is your knee jerk reaction?  Irritation and an illogical urge to do the opposite!

You can kill a relationship by getting too close. You must give people room to breath. Sure it's okay to inquire about a deal when a prospect suggests you should, but do it before then and you are sending a clear message: I don't trust you or believe a word you say. 

If you love a prospect, set them free.  Then watch the Benjamins roll in. And its always okay to sandbag the boss a little. 

Damn Lies and Statistics

Got a hot prospect you can't wait to close? Hit them with some great stats from the latest case study, white paper or report! That will convince them. Convince them to not buy from you!

Say what?! How on Earth will you convince said prospect to go with your solution? We will get to that--promise. First let's get something straight-research is only valuable to the eye of the beholder. And no research can trump deeply ingrained perceptions. In fact, presenting research can many times hurt you more than help you. 

It all has to do with the fact that people know you want to sell them, and they are wary about any fact you throw at them. Want to prove something? You can find a study of some sort to back it up...or not. Just Google it and you will see for yourself.  Most savvy buyers know this, and the higher you get up the corporate food chain the more challenging it will be for people to buy stats. 

People in the C suite know how easy it is to make numbers look the way they want because they do it every day. They also know from experience that research numbers can vary widely based on how a question is worded and that most people use stats out of context and cherry pick to the advantage of their issue. Or the confidence factor of the study they quote isn't published because the sample size is so iny weenie. 

Dr. John Best is one of the most renown experts in statistics and their manipulation.  He has written the books: "Damn Lies and Statistics", "More Damn Lies and Statistics", and "Stat-spotting: A Field Guide to Identifying Dubious Data" In a 2008 paper entitled: "Birds–Dead and Deadly: Why NumeracyNeeds to Address Social Construction", Best noted that: "Once people start to take a problem seriously, good things—money,status, and so on—can begin to flow to its promoters. It is quite easy for someone to sincerely believe that some problem demands attention, and for that person to also have a vested interest in that problem gaining attention. Neither characteristic does much to encourage critical thinking about statistics about the problem—at least not regarding those numbers that seem to confirm the problem’s importance."

As a salesperson you have a vested interest in serving up stats that are going to sell your crap. I'm not saying you are intentionally being dishonest but hey wanting to put food on the table can certainly decrease your degree of skepticism. Buyers know this, Champ.  And besides, they could care less about how other people view things. It's like a second grander coming home with a "C" and saying everyone else got one. All that matters is them. Everyone else is irrelevant.

People make their own reality. And since stats can be manipulated to support any cause, people are free to come to their own conclusions. The company I work creates content for marketing companies. We recently met with an old codger who owns eight car dealerships to convince him to start taking money from newspapers and applying it to content on his site that can be found in Google searches and social media. 

Evidence that newspapers are dying is overwhelming. Just look at your local rag and how small it has gotten. We presented tons of stats, many from the automotive dealers association that supported our argument--newspapers suck, on-line rules and you are a fool not to take advantage.

Guess what he said at the end of the presentation? "I still think when people buy a car they get a newspaper." Two hours and tons of stat digging...gone. Thank goodness we developed a magazine concept that he can send to customers, just in case.  Guess what he is going to end up buying? The magazine, because he believes in it.

That example solidified my hunch: If you rely on tons of third party statistics it shows glaring weakness in the value of your solution, especially to the prospect.  Why? Because if you had listened to their needs, really dug into the pain, really worked your tail off to find out the true reason why a person wants to buy your solution, and removed your selfish needs from the equation (like selling a mult-platform content strategy for lots of cash) you wouldn't need damn lies and statistics.

All you would need to do is show up with this clear message: I listened to what you had to say and here's a solution to what you think is important.

Forget the stats, and you will sell more. I know we will. 

 

You got fired. Here's why.

You hear it time and time again. "The hardest thing to do is find and keep good salespeople." There's lots of implications to "find and keep good sales people." Let's focus on the "good" part. Want the truth about why you or a colleague got fired from a sales job? Read on. 

I've had the unfortunate task of letting go quite a few salespeople. Some I honestly shouldn't have hired in the first place. All of them sucked to let go. Despite the tough exterior of a manager letting someone go,  and the fact that it was the right business decision,  I promise you we lose sleep over it and it hurts to deliver the news.  As a rule salespeople will tell you:

• They have a deal about to close
• They didn't get enough help
• If only they had another month
• Their territory sucks
• If only X deal had closed they wouldn't be fired
• I have a lot in the funnel

On cue, they will say those things.  And you know what? That's exactly why they were fired. Every last one of them. All those excuses are endemic of a sales person who sucks and is just getting by. I don't know about your place, but just getting by doesn't cut it. 

"Deal about to close" and "If they only had another month" is an indicator that the salesperson is a wishful thinker and hoping to "catch a break" rather than make their own breaks. This can turn into a vicious cycle of lackluster performance that will eat up a year faster than a second grader looking forward to Christmas. BAM! 364 days till next Christmas or the end of the next fiscal year. 

Wishful thinking rears its ugly head when you hear "I have a lot in the funnel."  News flash, sales managers would be total idiots to fire someone with a fat funnel.  Salespeople find many unique ways to be a pain in the ass, especially successful salespeople, but smart managers placate the bullshit for the bigger picture.

If you have a fat funnel you are sticking around unless you do something really stupid like shit on the boss's desk.  Trust me, I'm the beneficiary of bosses who had the patience of Job to put up with my bullshit before I wised up.  Because I really did have a fat funnel (and never did the desk thing). 

You know what is sobering? Digging into a fired salesperson's funnel. There's usually even less than one would expect. Fat funnel my ass!

Territory sucks?  Really?  The more this is said, the more salespeople convince themselves its true. Salespeople worth their salt make things happen. Others make excuses. Like not getting enough help. Sales managers get paid when people sell. Why wouldn't we want to help you?

How do you summarize why you got fired? Because you didn't work hard enough.

Jeffery Gitomer talks about sales taking HARD WORK. HARD WORK.  Sustained, nose to the grind stone killer instinct kind of stuff. Unfortunately most of the people I've let go, had it the beginning, got comfortable and backed off. You must work hard all the time.

Sales isn't second grader soccer where everyone wins and even the uncoordinated kids get to play. That "everyone wins" crap has no place in sales, but people amazingly carry it into adulthood.  So if you are scratching your head wondering why you got fired from a sales job look in the mirror. Smiling back at you is the reason why. 

Time Flies When Your Head is Up Your Ass

It's been a few long weeks since I blogged. Bad blogger! The sales team has been slammed, so at least its for a good reason. Naturally it wasn't surprising when I found out a grand total of ZERO people read my blog the past few days. Time flies when your head is up your ass and you don't do anything! Then how come so many salespeople do nothing and expect to get something?

Time can get away from anyone if you don't watch it. It's easy to put stuff off. Easy to be selective. Easy to ignore. Easy to watch "Glee." I'm guilty as charged on the blog front and have to admit that a couple times a year I struggle with it on the sales front, too.  Then I follow my dad's sage advice and "get your head out of your ass!"

Second graders are good at getting what they want. They keep at it.  They constantly remind you of how wonderful they are, they hang around.  Then at the right moment they hit you up for a box of Legos and you say, "okay."  As we get older, we lose that drive unless we constantly remind ourselves to stay at it. Other wise, disaster can ensue.

Twice in the past month companies have had their head up their asses and expected to get something. The first company  because they basically said we weren't worth their time. The second because we never heard from the rep until a week before our renewal. Sound familiar? If it does then maybe a company has treated you this way, or God forbid you have done something like this too.  Say it isn't so!

The first company was a CRM firm. We will be up for renewal in a few months. Many of our users are a bit confused with the system and if they understood the system better, they would like it better, no one would bitch to the boss and we would keep on paying a handsome annual fee for the pleasure of using said CRM.

My request was simple: "We want to renew with you, oh CRM company, but our people need to be happy.  So could you take some time to train each person (about 20) one on one either in person or on-line?"  Not only would we renew when that was done, but we would add 20 more users!  Sounded like a no-brainer request to me. 

Think again. The CRM company basically told us they couldn't afford an employee's time to answer our questions and use the product,that we pay for and wanted to renew, correctly. In other words: it really isn't worth it to us. Then after the conversation continued it turned into: "Well, we will do it, but only if you add the extra 20 users first." Insert head in ass.

Another sales person had his head up his ass, by not reaching out to us until a week before we were due for renewal. Email with some cool information? Nope. Letter saying "thanks", I'm here for you anytime? Nope. Phone call to give us a heads up on new features? Nope.

As much as "checking in" is one of the dumbest things a salesperson can do, as outlined in my post "Are You Checking In?", this guy didn't even do that. But he did, email to see if we were going to renew.  Then he called and left me a voice message but it was really hard to understand him with his noggin up his butt.  Oh, and I got some silly pencil holder with the company name stamped on it and a cookie cutter note.

Renew? Sorry, Champ, no!  What if he cut the price? Let me think, no. Sorry but unless I know you are there for me, it ain't gonna happen.  And I bet all your customers and prospects feel that way too.  Which brings us to new sales.

Some sales people will bring their A game to a prospect for a few weeks, but at the least bit of resistance, will wither away. They will let the little voice in their head say "it ain't worth it," and move on.  Some are actually surprised when they call the prospect back six-months later only to find the prospect bought from a competitor. Why? Because the salesperson didn't take the time to court the prospect, didn't stay focused, put their head up their ass.

What's really unfortunate is that many sales managers push for the quick kill and nothing more. Sales people need to "move on" and find new business now.  Make those sales managers (and sales people) a hat out of Charmin because they are going to need it! Because time will fly and if those quick hits don't happen, they will be left with nothing and have a lot of cleaning up to do.

You know how you get quick kills? By staying in front of the "slow ones" by being an indispensable resource of information and smarts. By sending great pieces of information, instead of "checking in." You do it by Selling Like A Second grader--deftly reminding your prospect or customer how wonderful and different you are on a consistent basis.  That will make the "slow ones" pile up and turn into a steady stream of kills.

Just like blogging, being a resource to your prospects and customers only takes a few minutes. You just have to want to do it.  You want to make money don't you? Then get your head out of your ass, make it a priority and get it done. Otherwise, time will fly and someone else will.

Is Pharma Really Sales?

A few weeks ago, one of my best friends called me. He was frustrated about his pharmaceutical sales job, particularly the way the company calculated “sales”. It has finally pushed him to seriously consider another gig. Truth is I have seen lots of pharma reps apply for sales positions I have. None of them have been able to change belief of mine.  Pharma is not sales. Can you convince me?

Nothing like pissing off a huge contingency of “sellers” right?  But stick with me, oh purveyors of pills and hammer me in the comments section if you like. Sorry, but you don’t really sell. If you did, a doctor would buy a big box of meds from you, cut you a check and you would get a percentage.  But that that doesn’t happen now does it?

Nope. From what my friend has told me and what I have read, your job is to make sure docs have enough samples, materials and coupons so that when a patient is ill, the doctor will recommend your product. So tell me, is that selling or PR mixed with product placement and marketing?

I do a lot of triathlons. At every event there are tables with attractive young people handing out samples and coupons. The reason? So you try their product and get hooked. The “reps” will tell you how wonderful it is at hydrating, fueling, sun protection, chafing, you name it.  No matter what the question, the product is awesome to relieve that symptom. 

Most of these people are paid on an hourly basis to hand the stuff out, smile and tell you product “X” kicks ass. They get rejected a lot and after eight hours, I bet it’s a real grind. Isn’t that basically what pharma “sales people” do except in doctors’ offices?

In a way, pharma reps sell like second graders – which is a good thing. Pharma reps really do serve their customers by providing tools and great knowledge. But that’s where the Second Grade Selling ends, because there is no deal closing of any sort. No pharmaceutical rep on the planet has ever walked out of a doctor’s office with a check.

For definitive proof that pharmaceutical sales is not selling, look no further than the comp plan of a major pharmaceutical company. Most salespeople get paid a commission on what they sell. Sell something and you make money. Granted many large companies have found creative ways to screw salespeople out of commissions, as I wrote in Illusion of Sales Goals but making commission on what is sold is a basic concept. When we were all second graders we expected a reward for kicking butt, right away. Every salesperson I know (including me) hasn’t changed much since then!

Not so with at least this pharmaceutical company.  Nope, instead of getting a small cut on every script written, pay is based on well…the baseline. In other words, how much has a salesperson increased the number of prescriptions over last year? For example if a salesperson had 100 prescriptions last year, they may be expected to have 110 this year to make bonus. So it’s not sales that are compensated, its increases that are compensated.

On top of that, at least with this company, the “baseline” slides as the quarter moves on.  We’re talking prescriptions per day. If a salesperson misses early in the quarter that deficit can snowball quickly which means little or no bonus.

Then next year the baseline goes up. And the year after that. UP. And up and up and up. And you wonder why pharmaceutical companies hire so many new salespeople? It’s because they bounce the higher paid ones out with increasingly unreachable “sales” goals.

Bottom line is: pharmaceutical reps aren’t paid for what they sell.  They are paid for hitting an arbitrary goal created from a formula administered by a guy with a PhD in statistics.

For pharmaceutical companies, maybe it’s time to stop calling people sales reps and acknowledging your sales force for what they really are—marketing and PR. Stop paying faux commissions and instead hand out bonuses based on market share. And for goodness sakes, fix your convoluted comp plans so you don’t force out your most qualified and knowledgeable reps.  You’re out to get market share, right? You can’t do that with a revolving door of rookies.

So what is a pharmaceutical sales rep or someone who wants to be one to do? First, open your eyes to the reality of the job. You will be in a stable industry, but one that won’t teach you closing skills you can easily take into other arenas. It will teach you marketing, PR and merchandising, you will learn how to sell like a second grader a little bit — skills you can absolutely take elsewhere. So as you are evaluating your path consider if you want to stay in pharma, which is just fine and lucrative for many people, or use a pharmaceutical sales job as a stepping stone to say marketing or merchandising.

Also when you are evaluating your comp plan make sure it gives you a cut on what you actually sell – that goes for any sales job for that matter! If you aren’t compensated directly to what you sell, it isn’t sales. Demand it, or find a company that has a straight forward comp plan. And if you think pharma really is sales, enlighten me!

 

Compliment Your Competitor

How many times have you called someone you know works with a competitor? Lot's right? Well, how many times have you slammed that competitor in your initial conversation with the prospect? That's what I thought! If you wonder why you don't close many of them its because you didn't follow a golden rule for second graders: if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Imagine someone calling you and saying the car you own is a piece of junk. The salesperson could be right. You could be rolling in a 1985 Toyota Corolla with faded paint and no headliner like I used to. Sure, it was a total bucket, but if someone confronted me with that fact, like most people I would get a little defensive. Think I would want to buy a new car if you put me on the defensive?  Nope.

But what if you said something like, "Corolla wow, great car, good gas mileage. It will run till it explodes! How's it holding up for you?" Flattered, I would reply the salesman was correct that it won't die, but that doesn't mean the powder blue bomb doesn't have broken A/C and makes a strange squeaking noise!

When you call up and start ragging on a prospect for buying from a competitor, what they hear is "you are so stupid! What did you do that for?" And that doesn't make friends, Champ. One of my colleagues Dave, told me he trained salespeople to compliment a competitor no matter what. Instead of saying something like "man that's the worst software ever!" say: "I can see why you chose them, they really had some good features."

Now that you have made your prospect feel good about themselves--made them feel smart, you can start asking intelligent questions to make them understand another smart decision would be considering your product.  Start out the conversation by telling them they are stupid and they will question all decisions, like talking to you.

Beyond making a prospect feel dumb, ragging on their current vendor makes you seem like a typical slimy salesperson. What else is an average salesperson going to say? Since you aren't average, and kick butt in sales, start out by complimenting your competitor. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. By doing so, you will separate yourself from the pack and indicate your prospect makes good decisions, like considering a better option from you.

What's Your Carrot?

As salespeople we are trained to figure out a prospect's "hot button." Just what will make them buy? Yesterday, I realized that a bigger question is: what makes you sell? What is the "carrot" that makes you pull the donkey cart of sales?

This is an important question. Why do you sell? What is your personal motivator? It's easy to say money, but what does that provide for you?  It can be drastically different things for different people. For me its to provide my family a good home and future. "Things" don't really matter that much. Others might want that shiny new sports car.

But when I first started in sales, a "thing" sure did motivate me. A picture of the engagement ring I wanted to buy my girlfriend was tapped on the wall. It was my carrot. But it wasn't so much the thing as much as all the implications it represented. What's your carrot?

Knowing your carrot will get you through those dark days of sales that we all experience. Yesterday, thanks to our wise VP of Tremendous People, I realized I didn't know my salesperson's carrotts. Bad boss! Maybe they don't know it themselves? We're going to find out asap!

My guess is we will all find out, or reaffirm it.  Over the holiday sit down and ask yourself what yours is. I bet we will all sell more.

Getting Dirty with Interns

My second grade son understands the concept of chores. Do them and he gets an allowance. But "do" is a relative term. He has an endless array of methods to whittle down his actual work load while still expecting full pay.  It reminds me of what salespeople ask for and do everyday, like get dirty with interns.

I've heard salespeople ask for cold callers, appointment setters, folks to mail packages, write letters, market, and people to create proposals. But sales interns creating sales power points? Say what?!

You heard me. And not just for some lame meeting. We're talking BIG presentations. Power Point is often such an after thought that the intern does it. No wonder they suck so bad. No wonder "death by Power Point" is a common phrase. But this isn't about Power Points. This is about a larger question: what are your responsibilities as a salesperson?

If you have someone to make cold calls, set appointments, mail packages, write letters, market, make proposals and the intern does the  Power Point dirty work, what the heck do you do? "Well, it gives me more time to do my job," is a common answer to that question. Would "your job" be doing your homework before a meeting or presentation? Sadly, for many the answer is "no" which inspired the post "Do Your Homework, Dumb Ass."

Smile and shake hands? Okay. Present a Power Point the intern made? Check. Send follow up materials? Maybe. Here's a question: do you think the top 20 percent of salespeople allow interns and subordinates do the dirty work even if those resources are available?  I seriously doubt it. But I would bet the other 80 percent of salespeople do.

It seems impossible that you could deliver a unique solution for a prospect without knowing them inside and out. Unless you get your hands dirty. That means picking up the phone, prepping for your meetings, writing your own letters, creating proposals and oh yes, making your own Power Points.

If you don't do those things, you might as well change your title to PR because that is all you are. What do you think? What is a salesperson's job? Tell me it doesn't involve getting dirty with interns! My son would love an intern to do his work. You would never do that, would you?