You Sell Like A Second Grader

iSociety Kills Your Sales

    Have you ever heard of the iSociety? You live in it, after all. And the iSociety kills your sales. What is it?  Read on!

     It all boils down to that powerful one letter word “I”—the center of a second grader’s world--whether stated or implied, that permeates sales. If you are in sales, you should start looking at “I” as a four-letter word. A filthy habit. You started it in second grade and you still do it now. “I” is the thief who steals your plasma screen TV, sports car, kids' college fun, or that sweet ass pair of Manolo Blaniks.  “I” is the worst habit learned in second grade. It’s the dead weight that pulls you down and sets you back.

    I was hoping I could schedule a demo with you. I wanted a few minutes of your time. I’d like to talk to you.  I’m hoping to hear from you. I hope you will have the opportunity to attend…I welcome the opportunity to meet with you and to discuss my qualification and how I can be a valued addition.

    Ahh, the second grade school of sales where “I” comes before “you. It's no wonder salespeople talk about themselves! You have the pressures of paying the mortgage, putting food on the table, buying your kid the latest video console or your wife that Hope Diamond sized anniversary ring. Sheesh! It can make a salesperson turn to…well, selling like a second grader.

    Face it; even you are guilty of putting your needs before all others in a sales situation. Otherwise, why would you say something silly like: “I wanted a few minutes of your time?”

    The iSociety is the “me first” self-centered society in which we live. According to www.wordspy.com the definition of iSociety is:           

     I society noun. A society in which people emphasize independence and individuality.

    That’s not a bad thing.  After all, the United States was conceived on those principals. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness has made us the richest, greatest nation on Earth. But there should be a second definition, too: a society in which personal needs come before all others.

    Has everyone been out for their own interests first? Absolutely. Society has always been this way to some extent. But technology has caused it to spiral out of control. Apple didn’t start it all with their revolutionary iPod but it’s hard to argue that Apple didn’t capitalize on the iSociety and put it into warp drive. Those are a bunch of brilliant dudes in Cupertino, California because they caught the “I” wave at the perfect time and have stayed on the crest.

    American Idol, get rich quick, Secondlife.com, entitlement, and mass customization are all part of the iSociety. Individual ring tones, “Myspace,” “Youtube,” “Twitter,” “Facebook”, blogs (oh crap!), working from home, flex time, Tivo, iReport; instant polls and satellite radio are all part of the iSociety too. The list goes on and on.

    It’s just the world we live in, where people ask for and expect what they want right now. Yes, we love to make ourselves happy, don’t we? We want it now and we want to fulfill our needs first. It’s cool, almost expected to let everyone know it. Which is fine as long as your profession isn’t sales.

    Sure you can have all the “I” crap you want, too. What’s bad is when this attitude seeps into your sales technique. Your customers live in the iSociety too and they could give a crap what you want.

    Let the iSociety dominate you like a second grader on too much sugar and prospects are going to show you the door. Stop talking about "I" and start talking about "you."

Maid Sells Like a Second Grader

You have heard it a million times: everyone in your organization sells your product or company. Even the maid. Say what?! Yes the maid. And maids sell like second graders.

I have the "pleasure" of kicking back in a hotel roughly 100 nights per year. Hilton is my brand of choice-- from Hampton Inn to the Garden Inn to The Waldorf Collection the rooms are always clean safe and comfortable. Service is usually pretty good, too. But maids sell like second graders at these and other hotels, with rare exception.

Just when do maids sell like second graders? When the maid raps on your door two hours before check out and exclaims: "Housekeeping!" Not much of a sales pitch, right? But, think about it, with the advent of speed checkout this could be the final interaction you have with a hotel staffer.

And all a maid wants to know is when you are going to get the hell out of bed so they can take care of their needs (getting the room cleaned) and not yours. Just about the time you're wondering if you will come back next time, maids put things into stark focus: they could care less about you, they have a job to do. You think the hotel wants that to be your last impression? That could cost sales.

Second Graders only care about their needs, too. If you have ever enjoyed the company of a second grader, then you know that your hair could be on fire and they would ask you for a glass of water. The problem is, this behavior sticks with us into adulthood. I'm not picking on maids, either. This is prevalent through all sales and in business in general.

But when you are snuggled into that killer super deluxe 4-billion thread count bed, the last thing you want is a loud "I could care less about you" in the form of a housekeeper knocking. Instead, they could take your needs into account, leave you alone, and seal the return business deal. There couldn't be an easier sell.

Just this weekend a housekeeper rang the doorbell to my room and asked when we were leaving--at the Arizona Biltmore no less. In fact, the only hotel where I haven't had that experience is The Ritz and The St.Regis, Princeville.

Why don't maids rap on the doors in those hotels? Because smart managers have coached them to drop the bad "me-first" second grade habit. Because smart managers don't want anything to ruin the good feelings that will make me want to come back.

You know what? 99 percent of salespeople need to drop the "me first" habit, too. More on that later. And no, I'm not ready to check out!

Car Salesman Cold Call

You have to love car salespersons. They try very hard at a very hard job. What's unfortunate is many of them get little, no, or even worse bad direction from their sales managers. A very good friend of mine is general manager at a luxury car dealership. He doesn't hire salespeople from other car dealerships because of all the bad habits they learn selling Fords, GMs, Toyotas, Nissans and Kias.

This has nothing to do with the caliber of the person selling those cars, their social status, intelligence or education. So don't go off on the "this guy is an elitist" line of crap with me. That isn't it. My friend has successful salespeople from all walks of life working for him. The reason he doesn't hire people who sell other cars is because sales "managers" ruin most of them.

The term "manager" should be used loosely. Most of them shouldn't be managing anyone. If you want some evidence, sit through a few cold calls from car salesmen. Because I have an older car that will need replacing soon, I get quite a few calls from the dealership that services it. Apparently none of the new salespeople know that the last guy who got horrible sales advice and didn't make it called me a few weeks prior.

There are two basic call shams: The "we're looking for older cars for trade just like yours" and the "I just wanted to call to answer any questions." Who thinks up this crap? Sales managers! So when the salesman told me they were looking for cars just like mine, I replied: "Come on, dude! Like people are dying to buy eight-year old Expeditions with dings and soda stains. Your sales manager needs to come up with a better script. The guy agreed his script sucked.

So did the next guy who called wanting to "answer any questions." Questions? About what? Meaning of Life?

If you're a salesperson, throw away any scripts your sales managers have created for you. Chances are they suck. Why not try something revolutionary instead like...HONESTY! What if a salesperson said this:

"Hi, I'm calling because your car is old. As you know we have lots of new cars. And since you've had a Ford for forever, I figure you are broke or really like Ford products. If you aren't broke maybe you would like to check out some of the cool new models. Heck, we even have some kick butt pre-owned Navigators if you want to step up. All you'll get from me is a smile and your favorite Starbucks. How does tomorrow morning look?" 

Once I picked myself up off the floor for hearing a bull shit free cold call, I'd tell the salesperson, "Grande Americano no room, see you tomorrow." What about you?

Dialing for Dollars

There's always a debate I hear about "dialing for dollars."  Do prospects answer the phone or is cold calling so old school it has lost it's way in the iSociety in which we live?  If you are a good Second Grade Seller you may be torn.  On one hand you may truly be calling with a tool that could make a prospect earn more money or make their life easier, or both. On the other hand, you may feel as if you're disturbing the prospect's day with a call. Never fear. If you have prepared and make it about the prospect it will be a breath of fresh air for them.

But if you are practicing bad second grader habits, the call will be all about you and what you want from the prospect.  99% of the time this is the case. Perhaps that is why it's tough to get through to prospects on the phone. They are sick of getting the "me first" calls from 99% of sales people out there. 

That makes your job even tougher. One bad apple (or 99 out of 100) spoils the bunch, so why would you be any different than all the legions of salespeople who put themselves before the prospect or client? Yep it's going to be harder to reach people by phone, but since when is sales not hard?

Instead of calling, many salespeople are turning to social networks to make cold calls. But folks, it's the same pitch in a different medium.  Salesperson need first, prospect second. As long as the phone rings, it should be in your arsenal, but when you get someone on the phone, make sure you have done enough homework to make it all about them, the problems you can solve and how easy it will be. And not about you, what you want and the unsaid fact that rent is due!  This goes for Linkedin or any other communication for that matter. What do you think?

Truth Hurts, but YOU Sell Like This!

What’s the difference between a seven-year-old selling toys door-to-door and professional salespeople? Not much. Both practice bad second grade habits too much and don’t implement the good lessons they learned.

Need proof? No problem, it’s all spelled out in examples sent by professional salespeople from across the country in a myriad of industries. Email pitches, phone calls, sales letters, direct mails--look at some that you have received or more likely that you have written.

Fact is, we are all caught in the “i-society”, the “me first” individual need centric society for which we live.  If you are in sales, you should start looking at “I” as a four-letter word. A filthy habit. The thief who steals your plasma screen TV, sports car, kid’s college fund, or that sweet ass pair of Manolos. 

“I” is the main reason you are selling like a second grader and “I” is a powerful, relentless advisory.

The first step to breaking a habit is to recognize it and admit it.

Capital Grille seals the deal with selflessness

A few months ago The Capital Grille called me on my cell phone.  Did I have a reservation? No, but I did go there last year around this time for my anniversary and they were smart enough to remember. It wasn't the manager who called but a very affable hostess.  The reason for her call?  To invite me back to Capital Grille to celebrate our anniversary again.

What made this a super cool cold call was that she never said "I want you to" or "We want you back" Unlike 99% of salespeople out there her needs--what she wanted--were never on display, instead she made it all about me--made me feel good--made me want to come back by using just a few killer questions.  "Did you come last year?" Yes.  "Did you have a wonderful evening?" Yes. "Have you booked a place for this year?" No.  "Would you consider giving us the honor of having you back?" Yes.

Then she made it worth my while by telling me champagne and dessert was on them, just give her a call and make the reservation. WOW! Something just for me without any mind numbing crap about her?  Kick ass. 

It didn't hurt at all that she had a snappy English accent, but as someone who gets cold called all the time, what stuck me was how genuine she was and how she really seemed to want to serve me and my needs. Selflessness sells and she sells like a second grader.