You Sell Like A Second Grader

Mexican Markets and Trade Shows

Before the drug wars broke out, Mexico was a south of the border playground. It didn't matter what town you went to, you were guaranteed cheap beer, street tacos, fun and pharmacuticals. Ahh...the good old days. Cabo San Lucas was a particular good time. After having a few at Cabo Wabo, we decided to explore the shops in the tourist district. That's when I had a tequila inspired realization. This Mexican market was just like...a trade show! !Aye Carumba!  

There were rows of shops with similar stuff. The owners sitting outside barked a familar message: "Great stuff! Almost free! Come inside, come inside!" Not much different than my 8-year old son's pitch in my blog entry Preprogramed for Sales. The shop keepers couldn't give two hoots about me. They just wanted to sell something. Row after row. Similar pitch after similar pitch. Until it was all a blur and we needed mas tequila STAT! 

But who was I fooling? In reality, my company was, and most companies are guilty of the same thing at trade shows. "Come into our booth so you can get some free crap and hear our pitch!" How many times have you said something similar to that at a trade show? Why do you think prospects avoid eye contact? 

There's nothing wrong with trying to make a buck, but when everyone is trying the same technique, why do you follow along? There have been many articles written about conventions and over and over again you see comments like: "We go because everyone else does. We have to be there." That, amigo is arguable. But just for grins let's say its true. 

Where in the trade show handbook does it say you have to be in a booth to hand out a stress ball that you promoted with a post card mailer the week before the show? Aren't all the other lemming companies doing that, too? And you wonder why people get you mixed up with competitors after the show? What makes you so special when you do basically the same thing as everyone else?

Like in my blog on The Spotlight Effect you need to have the guts to break out of the pack, take a chance and truly stand out. You need to own the show by getting off the damn floor. You need to own the show by owning recess. 

Kids have recess for a reason: their brains can only take so much bombardment. Humans need to have fun and that doesn't change when we grow up. So my company owns recess at trade shows.

One year, when the big healthcare marketing convention was in Phoenix, we bussed all the attendees to our company campus for a private concert with Rick Springfield. Considering our average buyer was a 40-something woman, it was a huge hit. It was also a huge financial win to with a 10:1 ROI. Ever done that with a trade show booth?

We've done other, more subdued parties, even hosted a game show on the convention floor. Boy did that piss off our competitors because they were, of course, doing the Mexican market thing like everyone else. 

This year we are (GASP!) not doing a booth on the trade show floor. Instead we will own recess with the opening cocktail reception and then as the sole sponsor of a "social networking" cruise on the Chicago River and Lake Michigan. My team is simply going to walk around handing out flashing leis. 

And you know what? People will remember they had a good time with us. They will remember we didn't harass them. They will equate us with recess. And they will buy. 

As my wife and I strolled through the market in Cabo, we stumbled upon a little shop where the owner had set up a bar. Whether you wanted a shot or a soda, it was a nice place to get out of the malstrom of tourist store pitches. He never mentioned the similar stuff he had, just offered us a nice place to sit and have a refreshment. And you know what?  We bought our tourist junk from him.

Plato said: "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than a year of conversation." The shop keeper with the bar figured it out. You would be wise to do so, too. 

Turn Off Your Spotlight

It was a green rust bucket but I had to have it. My dad knew it. "Be cool," he said to me, his 15-year old son, "or he won't bargain." "It" was a 1956 Chevy 2-door, two-tone green with a rotting interior and rusty chrome. This would be my high-school spotlight--red and white gleaming with matching interior. $1350 bucks later it was mine (we talked him down from $1800). A year later, she was repainted and loud as a fire truck. Did I get noticed? Oh yes! The spotlight was on and it follow me into sales.

With a car like that, "special" meant either cool or total dork depending on if you were a member of pop-chorus. Hey, I was noticed and that's all that mattered. When I got into sales, I sold my Chevy to buy business suits. And even without my Chevy, I thought the spotlight was still on. After all, I was special.

Man, was I mistaken. Turns out I was just another guy in a new suit. So, how much of a spotlight is on you? Much less than you think there is! It's been scientifically proven that people think they stand out and are noticed more than they actually are. It's called "The Spotlight Effect" and it hurts your sales.

The Spotlight effect basically says that people notice very little about you even though you think they do. Do prospects remember your outfit? Nope. Remember what you said? Yikes! Remember your materials? Uh-oh! Fact is once you leave, the memory of you goes out the door, too. Scientists proved it by putting hapless college students through a series of tests.

In one test a student barged into a class wearing an embarrassing shirt. In another test a student said something controversial in a group discussion. Just a tiny fraction could recall the shirt even though the student made a scene. Same went for the controversial comments.

So in a sea of sales pitches and cold calls, why on Earth would you think yours would stand out? Spotlight effect. If you ever called to follow up on a proposal and your prospect got you mixed up with another company? Spotlight effect. If you have ever heard "you and your competitors are all the same" when you could have sworn you made the differences clear? Spotlight, baby.

This shouldn't come as a surprise. Prospects have incredibly busy lives with work and family. They can hardly remember if they turned the coffee pot off let alone your snappy new blouse. So what can you do? The first thing is realize the spotlight effect is indeed real. Second? Be consistently original and excellent. Constantly build your unique personal brand.

If you think you are truly memorable, take a hard look in a mirror and ask why.  Is everything you do tastefully,respectfully and consistently unique? Are you memorable and consistent? From your voice mail message, to your salutation in emails to your style of dress, to the way you write and the solutions you deliver? Does your Blackberry or iPhone email say something fun like "typed with incredible thumb speed" at the end? Every detail matters when it comes to truly standing out from the crowd and shedding the spotlight effect.

Do you send out prefab presentations and slicks? Take your competitor's materials and put them next to yours. If they look even remotely similar its time to rethink the presentations and how you deliver them. Why don't you break the corporate mold and do things your own way? Are you afraid of making a mistake or making money? For goodness' sake, don't be afraid to take a risk.

My sales team is seriously considering sending custom barf bags as a follow-up to a social networking cruise we sponsor at a trade show. This is part of owning recess at a trade show that you will read in my next blog. The basic message: "You didn't get sick on the boat, but does the thought of reporting your marketing results make you queezy? We can help." 

It's risky and a little cheesy, but I promise you we will break out of the pack and that's our style. We won't just think the spotlight is on us, it will be. For a glimmering moment we will stand out like a red and white 56' Chevy. We will spank our boring competitors and make more sales. Maybe enough sales to get my first car back.

Sales Busy Work

Subs. When there was one in school, it meant one thing: busy work. Not only do I remember it as a kid, but there was a brief point in my life where I actually was a substitute teacher! Rocker by night, sub by day. That's right, I handed out the busy work! Sure it was pointless but it kept the little rug rats busy so I could nurse my hangover. Depending upon the subject and grade level, I could actually answer a question about the pointless exercise. It was good training for the busy work tossed at me in sales.

What's the sales busy work? RFPs, better known as "Resource and Financial Pissaways." Nothing triggers wishful thinking, the spotlight effect, self-fulfilling prophecies and all the other ghoulish nightmares that annihilate sales quotas quite like the RFP.

Hey everybody! Let's spend three weeks and tens of thousands of dollars working on an RFP response that's just going to boil down to a price comparison spreadsheet. FUN! Unfortunately, most salespeople (but not you of course) jump at an RFP like a dog drooling for "Beggin' Strips."

Salespeople will say they have a shot--wishful thinking! They will tell you the client likes them more than everyone else. And they will push everyone to the limit with the response.  After all, "someone is going to win." Yeah, and doing 100 Calculus problems will help you in the real world.

Like busy work, 99% of RFPs are pointless shams, despite organizations like the California Association of Public Purchasing Offices trying to spin RFPs: "To avoid unfair practices, giving all qualified vendors equal opportunity." When we damn well know a vendor has already been chosen and RFPs are done to satisfy a corporate edict, or just educate a prospect with no intention of buying.

What's worse is when RFPs are doled out by clueless "subs" who have no concept of the product, the market or what will ultimately lead to success. I've seen instances in which prospects asked for rates to be delivered in a certain manner (makes it easier to plug into the old spread sheet if its uniform). Once the rates were delivered, the prospect couldn't understand them and had to ask for them another way. Kind of like a kid asking me a Calculus question -- I couldn't begin to answer it let alone understand it. 

Look, RFPs aren't going to go away until we flat out refuse to respond to them. Repeat after me: they are a waste of time.

One day I subbed a high school car mechanic class. These delinquents refused to do the busy work. So what did we do? Talk about fixing cars! And guess what? I learned a whole lot and managed to identify with them. Busy work would have given me nothing. Refuse the RFPs and make your prospects take the time to learn why you are the best.

Homework, Prospecting and Heisenberg

It was a lazy Sunday. The family went to the store, saw a movie, then grabbed some bar-b-que. About an hour before bedtime my eight-year-old son announced he had a big homework project due the next day. My wife went a little nuts. To me it was just more evidence that kid will end up in sales. He avoids homework like salespeople avoid prospecting.

2nd graders would rather eat spinach than do homework. And doesn't that follow kids all through school and into adulthood? What's the problem? It has to be done or the kid gets a bad grade. So why fight it? Maybe because they must do it, that's why.

Salespeople? Not much different than second graders, except prospecting is their homework. They will do anything or make any excuse to avoid it, even though sales won't happen without some sort of prospecting. Coffee, emails, check the weather, chat with friends what ever it takes salespeople will avoid the unavoidable.

Just like prospects hate to be pressured, salespeople hate to be reminded that they should still be prospecting for new business while nurturing the good prospects they have. And you know, when you bug a prospect they get all the more reticent like a kid reminded to do homework. The good news is the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle solves all that for you.

Who's Heisenberg? He's was a scientist that figured out that simply observing something will influence the results--on a sub-atomic level. And he came up with that in 1927! WOW! If you really want the gory details, you can read all about it right here.

That said, what works on the sub-atomic level works in prospecting or homework for that matter. What get's measured gets done. If you were thinking we should have kept better tabs on our son's homework, you're right. Salespeople should also keep track of how much prospecting they do, set a goal and stick     to it.

And while I hate over-involved sales managers, this is one instance where they absolutely should observe. Just that simple act, observing, will do more than any threat, cajoling or badgering. "Let me see" can influence the results of sub-atomic particles. It can sure as hell influence prospecting and cold calling.

Heisenberg was no mere quantum physics genius. He was a sales genius.

Pre-Programmed for Sales

"Dad, come check out my store!" And there it was, a "store" of sorts set up on the side of the road. Small toys, bits of Legos and other junk with price tags torn from a sheet of paper. My eight-year old son was out selling. Not too surprising considering he set up his first store a few years before. The kid will sell when he grows up or (gag) be a politician. Fact is his habits are locked in early and won't change. What habits have you carried from childhood into adulthood? More than you think, pal.

Don't believe me? Then check out the article: Personality Set For Life by First Grade You will see that scientists have discovered that there are for traits programmed into your noggin by first grade: "talkativeness (verbal fluency), the ability to cope well with new situations, impulsiveness and self-minimizing behavior."

How much or how little or how much of each trait you have, will determine how you behave--actually who you are in adulthood. And you wonder why I wrote a book called "You Sell Like a Second Grader?"

Scientists may have identified four traits that blanket all behavior, but what you need to be concerned with is the nastiest grade-school ideal you carry with you today: "I"  Why else would we live in a society with "iReport", "YouTube", "iPads", pods, and phones and instant fame. I like to call it the "iSociety". All because of the selfishness you have carried from second, even first grade.

Think my son was trying to help people out by selling? Heck no! He wanted money! And when people drove by without stopping he yelled at them! Of course you would never put your needs before your prospect. No, not you! Do me a favor...check some of your latest "cold call" emails to prospects. Bet they look a lot like this:

"Dear Chad,

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. [author note: bull crap!]

Just a short note to check if you had a chance to review my last email. [no, really?]

I would appreciate if you could suggest a date and time for a 15 min telephonic conversation in the next week. [you would appreciate it? so I can help you sell something?]

We are keen and enthusiastic to work with you and your organization and we shall look forward to hearing from you." [bet you are, kiddo, bet you are]

What does that have to do with me? Nothing! What does it have to do with him? Everything! Bet he wonders why he doesn't get more sales? Because he sells like a selfish second-grader, that's why. Want more examples of crappy and cool cold calls? Just click here and download them with my comments.

Oh, and one other thing: my dad can beat up your dad! :-)

Shots and Yahtzee? It's a Done Deal.

My friend Matt and I escaped his vacation home cacophony. The Olde Schoolhouse Cafe in Durango,CO was our mountain refuge from the kids and wives. Kitschy,cluttered, and laid back with a little bar perfect for ski bums, mountain bikers and wannabes like us. Yeah, we were knocking back a few. That's when we got a sales lesson.

The roll of the dice made it clear. It was Yahtzee time! But not any old Yahtzee, this was drinking Yahtzee with cash on the line. For a buck someone at the bar could try to get Yahtzee (same number on five dice) in two rolls. Winner gets all the money in the pot but is required to buy shots for everyone at the bar, including the bar tender and owner. "Yahtzee baby!!!  The dude next to me hit all 4's in two rolls.

As the bartender mixed up some "Surfers on Speed" shots Matt and I wondered how likely we would be to actually deliver the pizza we ordered for our starving families. (Yes, I know this is the second time Pizza has inspired my blog. If you didn't read "Pizza Seals the Deal", shame on you! Click here.) Then my mind drifted to how Yahtzee can help you determine a chances of closing a deal.

How do you evaluate your chances of closing a deal? Gut feeling? Where you are in your internal sales process? Or, God forbid, taking your prospect's word for it?! We use a Yahtzee inspired system we call "The Rose Close."

Why Yahtzee? Its all about odds. Think about it, the odds of rolling all five dice the same number are: 1 in 7776. Try to get four and your odds are 1 in 1296. Score three out of the five on your first roll? Your odds of getting Yahtzee go to 1 in 36!

Prospects can't really make six different decisions but closing them has math similar to Yahtzee. Boil it down and a prospect could say "yes" or "no" to your product. So, if you have one person making a decision, your chance of close is 50% right out of the gate--it's that simple.

But what happens if you add another person to influence the buying decision? 25% chance of close. (.5 x .5 =.25). Make it four influences who can each say "yes or no" and you are down to a paltry 6.25% chance of close. Five? Just a 3.125 % chance of closing. So with math like that, why do salespeople use their gut when selling to one let alone multiple decision makers? And why do salespeople just assume their main contact will convince everyone else?

Wishful thinking! Just like a second grader! Just like me thinking my wife wouldn't scold me as I stumbled through the door chowing on the pizza!  Second graders think things will happen just because they want them to. They wish upon a star. So do salespeople when they evaluate sales.

The good news? You can control the odds, magically fix those "dice", just by:

1) Knowing how many people really influence the buying decision (are you really sure?)

2) Knowing what will make each of them say "YES!"

3) Making darn sure they do. If you can't get to them yourself, then you need to make sure your main contact is coached and questioned to remove any doubt from "Yeses" you get.

4) Pray for that final roll to end up a "YES!"

Wait a second? If you check off all the people influencing the deal as a "Yes" its a done deal right? Really? What about the legal team? What if something changes between the attorney approval and the ink on paper? You better take those into account, too. As a result, the highest you should ever rank the chance of a deal happening is 50%.

Three shots later as Matt and I waited for his wife to pick us up from The Olde Schoolhouse. We unfortunately knew the chances of "hearing it" was 100%.