You Sell Like A Second Grader

The Slimy Close

One of the joys of being in a sales leadership role is all the cold calls you get. Slap VP on the end of your name and BAM! cold call central. Cold calls are a fascinating (perhaps sick) interest of mine. Truth is I think most salespeople are horrible at them no matter by phone, letters or email. The worst cold call is the "slimy close."

Before I get to that, if you want five tips for better cold calls, check out my blog post, here.  Okay...back to the story.

My experience with the slimy close comes like clockwork each quarter. The call is from some firm selling an overpriced sales training newsletter. It goes something like this: "Hi, since you are in charge of the sales team, we would like to send you and every memeber of your team a copy of our great sales training newsletter FREE for two months. Then we will simply send you a letter asking if you want to continue."

Sounds pretty good until you get into the details of the offer. Yes, boys and girls, this is one of those deals where accepting the "free copies" signs you up for a year...unless you cancel (even though you never subscribed) If you don't check off cancel on that follow up letter, the newsletter company automatically signs you and every member of your team up for a year at several hundred a pop. The "salesperson" grudgingly shared that information after some questioning.

To say the people hawking this crap are sales professionals is an affront to the sales profession. The fact that it comes from a newsletter company selling "sales training" makes it even worse. And if you direct your sales team to do the same or if you personally sell like that, then news flash, you aren't in sales. Better yet, do us all a favor and get the hell out, slimy closes give us all a bad name.

Think about what kind of message the slimy close sends? Does it send the message that a company believes in its products? How about that the training will really pay off? Heck no! What it does say is: our product is so awful that we con you into buying it.

If companies like that had any guts, and the salespeople employed by them had any skill, they would send samples as a true gift. It all goes back to being a servant seller. You serve. People buy.  Not only do they buy, they really want to buy from you, because you have set yourself apart by not resorting to the slimy close. Serve your prospects, and you will prosper!

 

Dog for Sale

My son Wyatt and I spotted her right when we walked into PetSmart. A small German Shepard, up for adoption. We knew two things: 1) we really wanted the dog. 2) it was going to take a heck of a sales job to convince mom. And that meant my son had to break a bad second-grade habit, proto.

Like any sale there were objections to overcome. Since we already had a maltise-poodle that didn't shed or have an odor at all, my wife was anti "real dog." Plus she didn't think the house or yard could handle a loping German Shepard.

But we had compelling reasons to make the sale. It would teach my son responsibility, the dog would be a great "running buddy" and she would guard the house while I was on business trips, and more importantly I wouldn't look like a pansy during "take your dog to work day." How could could she resist?

The sell was on! Push too hard and I knew my wife would say, "NO!" and that would be it. So I told Wyatt to make his case about taking care of the dog and dad getting a "real dog" then drop it, which is the polar opposite of what comes natural to second graders. As you may know, they will nag you to death.

Its not unlike many salespeople who want to get a deal done. Rather than let the prospect think on it and come to their own conclusions, salespeople "check in", "say hello," or "ask if everything is okay" until a prospect is sick of them. In other words, salespeople bug the hell out of prospects and many times ruin their chances right when a prospect is about to buy.

Look, people don't want to be pressured. And even the hint of it can make deals as stinky as a rescue dog. The reason badgering a prospect kills deals is because it says loud and clear "THIS IS ABOUT ME! NOT ABOUT YOU!"  Giving prospects space to make a decision shows tremendous restraint and respect. It wins deals.

That's exactly what happened with the German Shepard. Wyatt kept his mouth shut. He gave useful answers when his mom questioned him about taking care of the dog and all the things he would do. Then he offered to help by paying for the adoption fee--akin to a salesperson promising they will be there every step of the way when a client comes on board.

And guess what? By not being a nagging second grader, Wyatt got the dog. Back off and you will close more deals, too.

 

You're On This Side of the Dirt

You know what your job is? It's not selling or closing. It's not "making your numbers." Nope, your job is quite simply making people happy. Forget sales systems--this is the easiest and most effective way to bring in the Benjamins. Second graders intuitively want people to be happy. You should genuinely want that, too.

Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to figure this out on my own. Come to think of it, that goes for most things! Nope, a very patient boss taught me this. Most of the bosses I talk about were horrible!!! This one has and does leave a lasting impression on me.

Chris McMurry, the CEO of the company I work for, McMurry, follows the principles of great teachers. He's a servant leader like I outlined in my last post Sweet Revenge. Now don't go thinking its brown nose time, because its not. But the proof is in the pudding: McMurry was named a top five best place to work the fifth year in a row. McMurry also consistently grows. That says something about how employees are treated and a lot of it has to to with simply making them happy. 

Like many of us, I used to say, "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to make money!" Remorseless head hunter and proud of it while at the same time thinking prospects would never see that "internal" side of me.  I could turn on the charm, baby!  After a few unfortunate internal incidents, Chris sat me down and said, "Your job is to make people happy. Period." 

Screw them! What about my needs! I thought. Yes, this was a strech for me. Honestly, it took a few years for me to figure it out (slow learner). Then the magic started to happen. Internal people were happy, it made me happy, and it showed to my prospects. Sales went up. Way up. 

Chris isn't just a boss, he's a teacher of happiness. He helped me become one. And you should become one, too. This in no way means we aren't serious about business and don't demand excellence. We do. But you don't have to be boorish either.

Making people happy doesn't mean you have to spend lavishly. Many times, it's the little things. Many times it's simply listening. Most of the time it's just being a positive person and putting things into perspective. Is a meeting really worth getting upset about? Where does it stand in the big picture? As my dad says, "Hey, I'm on this side of the dirt." 

Turning your job into making people happy isn't an easy road. You will stumble here and there, you will make mistakes. You will constantly have to work at it. Every now and then you will go back to your "damn the torpedos" ways. But making people happy is the key to your sales happiness. Dedicate yourself and people will be happy you are on "this side of the dirt," too. 

Sweet Revenge

Yeah, I know, last blog I wrote about Complex Donuts and now, yummy cupcakes and beer! But this is about Sweet Revenge, so deal with it!  :-)  Revenge can be sweet, can't it? Especially when its against a crappy sales environment and an abusive boss.

Maybe you have seen the Chase Ink commericials, featuring Marlo Scott, owner of Sweet Revenge, a fantastic cupcake, beer and wine bar in Greenwich Village, New York. Saturday I was in the village, googled dessert and walked into this great little spot for a cupcake and beer pairing, with no idea she was the sharp brunette in the commercials. I looked up and there she was!

 

Turns out Marlo was a salesperson at a major media company and according to her beating her numbers. I interview tons of people and am a subscriber to Malcom Gladwell's "Blink" theory. When you find an above average person, you just know. From what I could tell, Marlo is an A player. Frankly, she was sharp as hell.

So what happened to Marlo at the media company? Well, let's just say management was "interesting." So Marlo got motivated enough to work on her plan for a year and a half and get Sweet Revenge by breaking free. The catalist was corporate restructing and lay0ffs, including her. Good idea! Layoff a great sales producer. Marlo said they did her a favor.

Which brings me to the concept of leaders being servants. In previous posts (Flipping Burgers to Sales), you have read about how truly successful salespeople are servants to their prospects first, and sellers later. The only way for an entire sales team to adopt that attitude and blow out the "80/20" self-fulfilling prophecy that permiates sales teams is to have a capable servant leader, to set the example.

Serving people to get what you want is deep in culture and religion. Laotzu --his teachings are the basis of Philosophical Taoism--said this: "When the master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists. Next best is a leader who is loved. Next, one who is feared. The worst is one who is despised." He also said: "If you want to govern the people, you must place yourself below them. If you want to lead the people, you must learn how to follow them."

Another guy you might have heard of, Jesus, said this in Mark, 9:35: "Whoever wants to be first must place himself last of all and be the servant of all."

Of course you don't have to go all religous to find wisdom like this, although I would imagine Robert Greenleaf, had to know these philosophies when he wrote "The Power of Servant Leadership" (www.greenleaf.org).

Not in a leadership postiion? You should still study and embrace servant leadership. It will result in more sales for you. In a leadership position? Cast aside, the "80/20" BS, be the example of servant leadership, and find people who follow your philosophy. Treat your people well.

And if you are suffering under C player management, Get the hell out. Marlo says it was like a million pounds was lifted off of her. Now she is being the servant, having fun and making money, I imagine she was a servant seller when working for the media company as well.

Of course I'll be back for more Sweet Revenge next time I'm in NYC. You should say "Hi" to Marlo,too. You will be glad you did. Just don't make the mistake of trying to pay with American Express.